Picking Up The Pieces
by Eosophilia
Summary: What would happen if Bella had died, as had Nessie at the end of Breaking Dawn? Would Leah and Jacob help each other from their lost loves or would they continue suffering? J/L
1. It's Just Our Time

**A/N:**

**Okay, primarily, this is my first EVER fan fiction and I would very much appreciate positive feedback, but also constructive criticism, please. Suggestions and additions to my chapters will be taken. ******** Now, I get writers block VERY badly sometimes so it could be days, maybe even weeks, at a time before I actually post ANY chapters. I apologize for any discomfort at this and I realize that maybe I should think things through before I write, and I do, trust me, but I have difficulty with it.**

**I do not own any characters in this fan fiction. They completely belong to Stephenie Meyer. ******** I simply bend them to my will. **

**This is a Blackwater fan fiction. I became a hard-core Jacob/Leah shipper after a fan fiction that I read called Fatal Imprint. It was a one shot that brought me to tears. I was definitely not expecting the ending, but it also got me to wondering…what would have happened if Bella had died…and there was no Renesmee? What would happen to Jacob and Leah…would they heal from their lost loves or would they continue in pain and suffering alone? So I decided to try something…get my brain working and try this. ******

Chapter 1: It's Just Our Time

Leah's POV

Jacob was still in the bloodsuckers'—he had been for the past two days. Seth was in there too, so I was left outside in the almost twilight to watch the house as my pack hung with the leeches. I was somewhat disgusted at this point to call them my pack, to be honest. However, as much as I hated the Cullen's, I hated being a part of Sam's pack and remembering what he'd put me through more. My first true love and my best cousin…they'd left me for each other and all I could do was sit back and have my heart broken.

It wasn't Sam's fault…I knew that, nor was it Emily's but…as much as I told myself that, I couldn't stop thinking that I'd been betrayed. Imprinting (damn the name itself) was involuntary, not something that our kind could stop, but…I feel like Sam should have tried. Tried to keep himself from falling for my cousin. I felt somewhat responsible…and so it was my fault. I had brought them together. If I'd never told Emily that she could meet Sam, he never would have fallen for her. My fault. My entire fault…

I remember the day that Sam told me he was leaving me for Emily…I couldn't understand why and I could not stop screaming. I was not always hard and cynical; I was made that way when he left me. It started that day. I remember yelling…a lot of yelling. My voice was absent for almost a week after that. He apologized repeatedly and all I did was make sarcastic comments about how I did not believe him…

A large tear rolled down over my snout, but I snorted and shook it away. Tears weren't my thing. I tried to keep from crying as much as I possibly could. If people saw weakness in me, they would attack me for it for the rest of my extended life. I don't like sympathy, especially now. I was the she-wolf…good for nothing else. A genetic dead end and we all knew it; whether either of my packs wanted to admit it…I wasn't meant to be.

I heard a deafening scream from the bloodsuckers' home, breaking me from my reverie, and I bolted for it as fast as I could. I jumped onto their porch and looked up through the window, still in wolf form staring in at the macabre scene that was taking place. Bella's hand was being held by Rosalie who looked so scared she might piss herself is she could, Edward was frantic in his actions as he pulled up Bella in his arms and flew her upstairs. Rose followed as quickly as she could and Jacob immediately after her.

_The ba—spawn_, I thought. I had been so caught up in the bloody terror that I had just witnessed that I had almost called the demon spawn an actual baby.

Seth was staring open-mouthed at the spilt blood on the couch. That must've been the blood that Bella had been drinking. I wondered why it had been spilt. I reached a paw up and tapped the glass once gently to keep from breaking it. Seth looked slowly over at me, his whole frame shaking in fear. His face fell into an expression of quiet recognition, trying to hide his fear, I assumed. He stood up and came to the door, his body still quivering. I made a familiar motion for him to phase.

The air made a shimmering effect as he went from a tall, lanky boy to a horse like wolf.

_What the hell happened?!_ I exclaimed, gesturing with my head to the house.

_Bella…the baby is coming….Her placenta…it detached when she reached for the cup of blood that she dropped…she reached too quickly and…all you could hear was a rip and…then she was screaming. Leah, it was the most frightening then in the world_, he panted out. Even his thoughts were slow.

_The spawn is coming. Now?_ I asked in a flat voice

He nodded, unable to form coherent words in his thoughts.

_Shit…_I muttered.

_Leah, do you think you could stop worrying about you for one minute and think about the people around you? Do you realize that if Bella dies in this process, Jacob is going to have to kill Edward? They made a promise to each other, Lee. If Bella's heart stops beating, Edward is gone and so is Jacob._

Jacob would…do that. He would kill himself over something as insignificant as _Bella Swan_. Of course, I knew he loved her; she was, to him, almost what Emily was to Sam. Of course, the level of adoration was nothing close to that. I wanted to cry again…Jacob could not leave. He said he would stay with me. He promised.

_If he ends up having to kill Edward, after all they've been through together, I doubt he's going to keep that promise, Lee,_ Seth interjected.

_No_, was my only thought.

I brought myself back to human form and slid on my t-shirt and shorts, taking the string that I used to keep them around my left arm, and tied my hair up. Seth phased back, too and pulled on some cut-off shorts.

"Seth…he can't leave us," I murmured.

"That's what he'll do if Bella died, Leah. There's nothing we can do about it."

_Maybe not you, but I very much plan to hold him to that promise, damn it,_ I thought, glad Seth couldn't hear my thoughts. _You can guarantee that Leah Clearwater does not give in so easily to bull crap like this. _I sighed and shook my head to keep up the pretense. "I hope she makes it then."

Seth was not listening to me, though…he was focusing on something much more important to him. A heartbeat was stuttering to a stop. Each beat, fumbling over itself as it finally stopped.

We were silent.

"What are you waiting for?!" we heard Jacob scream.

Bella's heart gave an unwilling beat. Jacob was trying to save her; doing compressions. We heard no reply from Edward…all silent.

"The baby!" Rosalie exclaimed. Now I saw what Jacob had meant about the blond being so superficial of Bella's illness. She did not care. She was in it for the kid.

"Is dead! Try to get Bella back, damn it!" Jacob shouted, still doing compressions.

"Get the venom! Alice?" Edward murmured.

"NO! SHE CANNOT LEAVE! SHE PROMISED ME!" Jacob was falling over in hysterics; we heard his large body hit the floor. "No," he sobbed out.

Edward obviously took Jake's place. I heard soft flesh tearing…and knew it was a lost cause. Bella was gone. "Alice, will she be okay?!" Edward demanded.

I heard another person entered the room. "I'm sorry, Edward…she's gone." Alice sounded like she had been crying as well.

"NO!" Edward roared. "NO! BELLA COME BACK, PLEASE!" Edward was crying tearless sobs that I could hardly distinguish from Jacob's. Both of them were screaming out her name and Alice was crying softly, too. I even heard Rosalie sniffle a little.

Therefore, this was it. We were going to lose our pack over this. Jacob would be gone and I would be forced to go back to Sam. To face the pain of losing an Alpha and a true love. I may as well just kill myself along with Edward and Jacob.

Seth busted into sobs and I brought him into my arms, letting a few tears escape as I breathed in his familiar, homely scent. So much loss, and how could life be considered "worth it" after this? How did Fate think it was funny to mess with us in such a screwed up way?!

"She's gone. He is gone. They're all gone, Leah!" Seth sobbed into my shoulder.

"I know, baby. I know, I'm so sorry," I choked out.

_YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY TO TOY WITH US THIS WAY? YOU THINK IT IS OKAY? YOU HAVE MESSED UP ENOUGH LIVES, JUST GO TO HELL!_ I thought at whoever was making this happen. I had to admit…I was even going to miss Bella a little… I cried harder.

"Jacob," we heard Edward mutter in a hard voice. We quieted our sobs to listen. Edward was going to ask now. He was going to make Jake kill him.

"Edward, no! NO! I won't do it!" Jacob yelled.

"You promised," Edward growled.

"I'm breaking that promise!" Jacob whimpered. "Edward, you can't leave me, too. Please, Edward. Please."

"Jacob Black, do it now," he demanded, his voice pure fury.

"NO! Go to those damned Italian killers Edward, I won't do it!"

Edward moaned out a sob and Jacob whispered. "Edward…we can make it together, man…please. Don't do this. Bella would have wanted you to…"

"DO NOT SAY HER NAME. DO NOT EVER!" Edward yelled at the top of his lungs.

Jacob had obviously touched Edward in some way because you could hear a smack as Jake groaned, but he obviously didn't let go. "Edward, it's okay," he soothed. "Please, man. You're the only thing I'm going to have left of her. And more than that…I would miss you, Edward. Please."

Edward was struggling. "Let me, go, Jacob…" And he sobbed one more time before falling under and giving in. You could hear muffled sobs so I assumed that Jacob was hugging him.

I ran inside and up the stair. It was spontaneous, but I did it anyway. I could feel Seth following me. I ran into the room I thought I'd heard the sobs from and looked in the middle of the room. A large spotlight pointed out Bella's torn, mangled body that was bent in weird shapes. Alice was angled over her, sobbing over her lost sister. Rosalie was in the corner, half-glaring, and half-sobbing at Bella's body. Jacob was a few feet from her with Edward in his arms protectively. Had I been feeling like my normal self, I would have thought to call them both gay.

"Jacob, Edward," I murmured, walking to them. They both looked and I let out a tear to let them know that I was so…so sorry. I walked to them and enveloped them both into a hug and they hugged back. Seth got it and so did Alice…even Rosalie. We all cried together…well the ones that COULD cry, cried and the others made sobbing noises. We all murmured "So sorry" to each other, trying to calm.

Alice walked back over to Bella's body. I expected Edward to follow, but he completely ignored the fact that Alice was there.

"Edward," I choked out quietly. I had a hard time saying his name without spite. It felt strange. "Please. You can't kill yourself. You can't let all this go. You have a family and friends that love you…even I would miss you a little. You can't leave," I muttered, truly meaning. Since when did I get all mushy and lovey? I guess I'd done it unconsciously.

Edward looked at me and then pulled me into hug him. I have to admit, the smell was wretched, but it was somewhat comforting. "I'm so sorry," I murmured, kissing his cheek. He flinched and I apologized again.

"I love you, Leah. I love you, Jake. I love you, Seth…" he whispered so quietly, that no human would ever have the chance of hearing if one had been near.

Seth went to hug Edward, sniffling. "I love you, too, man."

Jacob nodded feverently, holding back sobs.

"I'm going to try," Edward whispered again. "I will try to live this out with you guys, but I'll need your help. No leaving me."

We all nodded in agreement. "Of course," we said simultaneously.

"Thank you," Edward sobbed.

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**Yeah, so that's how it goes, and I cried while writing this. As much as I really hate Bella, I would hate to see that much pain. I bet you didn't see all the bloodsucker love from Leah, did you? Well, even she feels remorse sometimes! I love this story so much. Reviews are very much appreciated. ******** Thanks.**

**Terra xxx**


	2. This Is The Lie

**A/N:**

**I am SO SO SO SO sorry for the delay. My computer had a major virus and I had to get it fixed. ******** This chapter has more angst as Edward is forced to lie to save his secret. I hope he's able to make it through this. **

Chapter 2

Leah's POV

I spent my next few days off patrols, comforting the Cullens—the smell eventually got to a point that I could stand—who were so depressed; they would barely speak to anyone. Mostly and to my deepest surprise, I bonded with the blond vampire, Rosalie. Past all the superficiality and seemingly vapid personality was a great woman. She had seen twice the amount of pain I'd even dreamed of, and I had to admit, that gave her a reason to be so cold and bitter. Maybe it was this situation, but Rosalie was being oddly kind.

Her head rested in my lap as her whole body was sprawled across what couch space I was not taking up. She was absentmindedly staring at something across the room. I tried several times to spot what she found so interesting, but failed. I gave in with a sigh. "Rose?" I whispered, touching her forehead.

"Yeah?" she answered, taking my hand from her face and holding it close to her dead, unbeating heart.

"What are you staring at?"

She closed her eyes, taking a deep, ragged breath. "The piano."

I glanced at the perfect instrument on the platform. One beam of sunshine shone down through the window above the door onto the ivory and black keys. There seemed to be a spectrum of colors on the black surface as the sun angled itself perfectly to do so. Dust motes floated over the piano and settled, a pattern that I expected would be continuous in this time of pain. No one would touch that majestic instrument with Bella gone. It was hauntingly beautiful. I shivered.

"You see what I mean," Rose murmured, nodding. "He's never going to touch that piano again. I don't need Alice to know that."

I sighed, hanging my head. She was right; with Bella gone, the Cullen family had been torn. Edward had no passion, Alice was not bouncy or bubbly, Rose had trouble looking in a mirror lately. The pairs in this house couldn't be together because of Edward's tension with them. Rose and Emmett hardly spoke at all because they were afraid of upsetting him. Everything had changed.

The phone rang again—we had been receiving a lot of calls from my mother and Jacob's father—and Rose was across the room in a sixty-fourth of a second, picking up the loud phone.

"Hello?" she said quietly.

An unintelligible answer from the other line.

"Charlie," Rose muttered.

Suddenly, there were nine pairs of eyes narrowed at Rose. Everything was quiet, but Edward appeared next to Rose. He had been worried about this. This was the time he was dreading. Telling Charlie of Bella's death. He gestured for the phone and had it next to his ear almost immediately. "Charlie?"

We were all holding our breath, waiting for the moment he would have to improvise. We heard shouting out of Charlie's end about why Bella had not called him yet, if they were back in Forks. Edward flinched every time he heard Bella's name.

"Charlie," Edward started, his chest heaving unnaturally. "I'm sorry. She's gone."

"WHAT?! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN 'SHE'S GONE', CULLEN?!" Charlie screamed, and every breathed out, the sobs forming. It was strange; like we were all connected.

Edward was a good liar. We all knew this moment would come and we had left it to him to come up with the cover story. He had obviously given this some thought. "Charlie, on the honeymoon, Be—she was having some breathing and heart problems. We got a hold of Carlisle as soon as we saw the first sign of heart dysfunction and she did not want to worry you. She told me that she did not need to come home, that she could make it for a couple more weeks. She was fine at first, but after a while, the problem worsened. I called the mainland for a doctor whom showed up less than half an hour after the incident. The doctor detected nothing wrong. Bella decided to get some sleep and I need to go out to tell the maintenance crew to restock the house with food and then stayed out of the house, just to stay on the beach." His voice got noticeably slower, like he was choking on his own words. Like this was what really happened. "I came back in…she was gone. She was not breathing. I called every doctor at that hospital to test her for exactly what was wrong. They still found nothing wrong…they could not find anything. We buried her there on the island. She's gone, Charlie.."

I felt a tear fall off my chin as my lower lip trembled. It might have been a lie, but Edward sure as hell was convincing. I looked to see Rose, Alice, and Jacob…everyone, looking as if they were about to bust out into sobs. All three wolves had tears rolling down our cheeks and our heads were bowed.

I heard Edward hang up and I saw that Jacob was the first to pull him into a huge hug. Murmurs of "its okay" and "I'm so sorry" were said with every voice in the room as they pulled Edward into a tight hug, trying to squeeze away the pain.

Part of my brain, the 'old me' was nagging on. Muttering obscene insults at me for being this way towards the Cullens. _Oh, you fucking leech lover. All kind and kissy with the bloodsuckers? Where is the old Leah? The one that people feared, and still looked hot… This new Leah is just a wimp…what is going on here?_

I pushed that thought aside, groaning out quietly when I realize that the voice was right, but ignored it otherwise. _The Cullens are good people. They are in pain and I am not about to be rude when I have no idea what they are going through. I am honestly not that mean._

That little voice was not buying that, but shut up anyway. I closed my eyes and leaned on Jacob who pulled me into his arm, swaying us a little. I do not know how, but I fell asleep that way. In my Alpha's arms…his beautiful, muscled, tanned arms.

What the hell?! I really was getting soft. Since when did I think of my Alpha as beautiful?! Ugh.

My dream was filled with confusing, mixed images of my pack, the Cullens, Bella, the life sucking spawn—what I think it looked like anyway…this house, my home…even Sam.

However, one thing bothered me.

Why was I kissing Jacob?


	3. Wow, I Feel Stupid

A/N:

I took a couple extra days to write this to try and make it longer because I realize the last chapter was terribly short. Leah is really going to dwell on her dream and what it means in the dream. I hope you enjoy it as much as I loved writing this chapter. Leah is a very deep character and I definitely think her angst works for this story. 

I do not own any of the characters in this story. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer; I simply bend them to my will.

Song used for this chapter: OneRepublic-Say (All I Need)

Chapter 3

Leah POV

I was alone now. Jacob and Seth had gone with the Cullens to hunt—none of them had touched food since Bella fell ill. All of them had been practically ravenous when leaving this morning. I didn't prefer hunting raw food and since I'd gotten used to the smell of the bloodsuckers, I was able to eat the food they had left over from Bella. It was hard to think of her being gone, even still, I wasn't going to starve myself because of it.

I was sitting on the couch, flipping through the 1000 channels the Cullens had on their flat screen HD TV while snacking on some Doritos that I had found in the cabinets. I didn't have anything in mind to watch, and my thoughts were enough to keep me busy from actually seeing what was going on. My thumb continued to tap the 'up' button on the remote, until I realized that I was going back through the same channels. I turned off the TV and rolled up the bag of chips, setting them at the head of the couch. I lay down and sighed, staring up at the ceiling.

That dream…that damned dream. It was so vivid, so breath taking…had I not known any better, I would have thought it was real.

_Jacob cupped my jaw with his huge, warm hand as his other hand brushed back the strands of hair that laid across my face. He stared deep into my eyes, the burning intensity so profound I thought I might drown in it. I pressed my hand on his bare chest and he brought me closer, his lips scarcely touching mine. Our breathing was ragged and I felt as if I were about to hyperventilate…his lips pressed securely to mine. His hand traveled down my face and neck, moving to my waist, holding me to him tightly. He pulled away and began to kiss my neck, whispering three words I never expected to hear from that voice, "I love you."_

I woke up panting; Rose, Alice and Carlisle were surrounding me, their cold hand touching my forehead and heart. Rose was hugging me. "Are you okay?" she murmured. I nodded and sat up, ignoring the worry. I was glad they had left. I was able to think about this.

Did I love Jacob? Did I really think of my Alpha that way? In a way that was more than respect for a leader, than friendship between two co-workers? That was it, right? That was all I felt. I wasn't so sure, but I knew I felt something that wasn't just friendship for Jacob, and it was making me nervous.

***

They arrived home late afternoon, all of their eyes returned to their golden, shimmering color. Jacob and Seth phased outside the door and walked in, putting on cut-off shorts. I smiled at each of them as they passed me. Esme would be heading up to her office, Carlisle to his study, Alice to her computer, Jasper and Emmett to the TV room, Edward to his room and Rose, Jacob and Seth to sit here in the living room with me.

I sat up so that Rose could sit next to me. Seth and Jacob took the two recliners. One right next to the couch was Jacob the one adjacent was Seth. Seth sighed, his face still in that sad, almost unrecognizable expression that he had worn since Bella's death. Jacob looked mellow, but you could see the burning hurt behind his eyes. He felt that he had to be strong for me and Seth when both of us knew what he was going through.

I hugged Rose lightly then went to Jacob, who continued to look at my feet when I reached him. I coaxed his face up and then smiled lightly when he stared at me. "You okay, Jake?" Before he even replied, I had a plan formed in my head. To get him out, to let him know that I cared, and show him. It was time to start figuring out if that dream was right.

He nodded lightly and sighed. "Just thinking, you know…the usual."

"I know, but… what do you say we get your mind off of that for a while?" I asked, nodding out the door. It felt right…to be nice to him. That dream was going to change a lot of things, I just knew it.

"I'm tired. I don't feel like racing."

I laughed and tugged on his hand. "I wasn't talking about racing. Come on. I wanna take you somewhere."

He pulled his eyebrows together and shrugged once, standing up. I ran my eyes over his bare chest, how the muscles curved gracefully and were beautifully artistic. I couldn't help but stare a little longer than necessary. I'd never noticed how absolutely gorgeous Jacob was.

I looked to Rose who was smirking gently. I held up a finger to Jacob and walked over to Rosalie.

"What do you know?" I hissed so low; Jacob had no chance of hearing.

"You were muttering his name during that dream. You're lucking he wasn't in the room at that time," she whispered back just as low as me.

"You don't dare say a word, Rose, I'm serious."

"I promise," she said solemnly.

I glanced at Seth who was very near sleep. His breathing was calm and his body was relaxed, I knew Rose would have no trouble with him so I whispered to her, "Watch him, please?"

She nodded and flipped on the TV, turning it down low and switched it to the French Modeling channel. She took out a notebook and a pencil and began doodling down her own designs. The ease of movement in Rosalie's drawing was absolutely enthralling. I shook my head and turned to Jacob who looked like he was about to sit back down and just give up, but I grabbed his forearm and lead him out the door. Right when I was talking to Rose, she had supplied me with the keys to her M3 to drive. She knew my plan. I don't know how or when but Rose had learned to practically read my mind.

I took Jake to the garage and opened it with one of the buttons on Rosalie's keychain, then strode forward, pressing another button to slide back the top of the car and climb in. I gestured for him to do the same. He complied and entered the passenger seat, setting his seat back and closing his eyes. I allowed this, all the talking would take place at the beach.

The curves were taken easily in Rose's car, and I loved the feel of the engine. I would really have to start paying attention to Rosalie when she worked on her car, see if she could teach me how to make it like this. The ride was about and hour, which gave me plenty of time to think of exactly what I was going to say…how to…initiate the whole friendship thing between me and Jake…

***

The timing was perfect. I arrived at the Port Angeles beach shore just when the sun was touching the horizon and the sky was a beautiful salmon color with flecks of gold. I smiled and touched Jacob's face lightly. "Jake," I whispered, and I knew he would hear. "Jake we are here."

He opened his eyes and they immediately went to the sunset, and narrowed. "What are we doing here?"

"I needed to talk to you, and this seemed like one of the best places. It's quiet. Not tourist season, ya know?" I shrugged, and got off the car and made sure he was out before I pulled over the cover and locked it. We headed towards the cliffs and I sat on the edge of one and sighed. I remembered a time ago that Jacob had been in my spot on the Rez with Bella still on his mind. I had been complaining about having a dream about her, about kissing her. I mean, honestly! What was I supposed to do with that?!

He yawned and sat down beside me, his expression remembering and I assumed he was remembering the same day as I was. I was truly sorry for ever being that rude and…heartless to Jacob, but that was before I felt what I felt now. Something…was building and I didn't know what it was.

"So, Leah…what did you want to talk about?" he started.

I took a deep breath. "First, and foremost, I want to apologize for what I've done to you. Mocked, made life harder, and complained. I never realized it would end this way and I was terribly insensitive. I only wanted to make the pain easier on me and I was only making it harder on you. I'm so sorry."

He looked at me, his mouth agape. "Did Leah Clearwater just apologize?"

"What? I'm not that unfeeling that I don't feel some remorse for what I did," I explained.

He just stared. "I'm in shock."

"Aren't you going to accept the apology?" I asked quietly.

He shrugged lightly and sighed. "I'm thinking about it."

I was suddenly very angry. Why in the world couldn't he see that I was just trying to be nice? I was not being sarcastic, or messing with him! I felt the red heat build up in me that I hadn't felt in almost a week. "Thanks a lot." I threw the keys to the M3 at him and allowed myself to take my wolf form, speeding off and trying to hide the tears that were falling.

I sped through the trees, the world a practical blur around me. I knew Jacob would phase any minute and read my thoughts so I tried to make them all about hating him.

I was right. At that exact moment, he phased.

_Stupid Jacob, why the hell wouldn't he accept my apology? He needs to fucking get over himself! Don't know why I even hang around him anymore; makes no difference. He's going to be an asshole anyway._

He sighed internally. _Leah?_

I ignored him. _He's just a wannabe. If Seth wasn't still with him, I wouldn't be here_.

_Leah,_ he whispered in his head. _I'm sorry I was rude_. And then he was gone.

_I'm sorry I fell in love with you_, I cried when he left. I knew it was true at that moment, I knew Jacob Black was the closest thing to Sam, the feelings I had for him, I would ever have, and Jacob didn't even want me. How fair is life.

I didn't return to the Cullens house that night, but I did stay outside and listen to the worried conversations between Jacob and Rosalie.

"Where is she?" Rosalie questioned.

"Don't know, don't care. She was pissed when she left me."

I puffed out a sigh.

"Good going Jacob," Rosalie scoffed, turning up the TV so loudly that I couldn't hear his next words.

I laid down, pressing my ears back and letting out one huge tear. Again with the crying. What's wrong with me lately? I'm way too emotional. I think the Cullens have had this effect on me. Ugh…oh, well. I fell to sleep as the rain that had been delayed for the past few days fell on my head and soaked my coat to my skin.

His name was in my head, with every heart beat.

Jacob, Jacob, Jacob, Jacob, Jacob.


	4. Author's Note

**A/N:**

**Oh, my gosh, guys! I am so, so, so, so, so, SOOOO SORRY! My computer has been out in a shop for INSERT HOW LONG I HAVE BEEN ABSENT and I had no other means of computers to type chapter…4, is it now? I will be working on it very soon, I promise! I just wanted to thank everyone who is following this story. I really hope that you all enjoy it. It is a great pleasure to write such an emotionally deep story and have people actually like it. I always have this idea in my head that no one really cares what I write about…Self-esteem issues. You people are GREAT reviewers and constant followers! If you have any suggestions or things that you would like to see in the upcoming chapter, please send me a Private Message, which I will reply to as soon as opportunity arises.**

**I love you guys!**

**Xx Terra**


	5. Ultimatum

**A/N:**

**Okay, "Official" chapter four is now posted. Sorry for the delay, guys. I am trying to improve my detail here, so bear with me if the paragraphs seem to ramble a bit…**

**Song for this chapter is The Malediction – I Am Ghost**

The morning after the rain, I felt a lot more rested than I had in days. I did not dream. That was a relief; that I did not have that damned dream about Jacob again. Especially after last night. It was shaming enough that I had admitted failure and that he hardly seemed to accept it. Not that I cared, anyway…or at least, that is what I was telling myself. I could not…would not tolerate weakness any longer, but…that did not mean I could be rude and selfish again. No. I would not be an emotional wreck, but I also would not start trouble again.

_Weak_, the voice in my head commented.

I agreed.

The sun was still in the east, so it must still have been early morning. It was shocking to see the sun so much lately. Like Forks was another place without Bella and her monster…and I couldn't help but feel guilty for thinking that. I knew Bella had never been that bad, well…except for the fact of her hurting Jacob…in turn, hurting Seth. She had taken so much from many people. Selfish, as always.

I phased back into my human form so that no one would give me a surprise attack and hear my thoughts about Jake. When I was fully phased, I felt grimy, covered in mud and leaves. I shook my head and groaned as water splashed everywhere. I would have to take a shower. I did not want to see Jake right now, but I didn't really have another choice.

Truth be told, I _could_ return home to mom—take the shower there, but that would mean returning to Sam. I could not take that yet. In addition, Jake and Seth were still here. There was no point to be without my pack. Jacob would not leave Edward and Seth would not leave Jacob. I was bound, either way, to stay here. I did not mind much, what with Rosalie around.

I trudged up to the mansion and shook off a little bit more before entering. The whole house was white, I suppose being what they were, the Cullen's did worry much about dirtiness. I walked past the living room doorway and heard a gold wind chime laugh. I made a face and slowly turned to face Rose. "Hey."

Rosalie was just as beautiful as ever, her golden hair shining in the sunlight that came through window wall right behind her. A few rays of it touched her hand, her shoulder, and the diamonds sparkling. I was almost knocked out of breath in that moment. Certainly, there was no more beautiful creature than Rosalie…

Except Ja—

_STOP!_

I shook myself and blinked rapidly.

She was covering her mouth, her eyes giving away her smile. "Hey, Lee."

"I'm going to go take a shower," I told her, pointing upstairs.

"Right," she nodded.

"Which door…?"

"Oh, yeah. You can use mine. Second floor, fourth door on your right," she smiled.

I gave a weak smile back and proceeded up the stairs.

Alice was suddenly right next me, her face all happy. I raised an eyebrow. "Yeah?"

"Jacob is looking for you, Leah. He told me it was important." She had a strange look just beneath the surface, something other than happiness. I flinched, not really want to know what it was.

"Alright. I'm going to shower first…"

"You'll need clothes!" she squeaked, jumping up and down.

I shook my head and looked down at my own tattered apparel. "I have—"

"Not good enough," she said, quickly, running up the stairs so fast I couldn't see her.

I shrugged and walked up to the level Rosalie had said and then jumped into the huge shower. It was a cube, clear doors. The showerhead pressure was adjustable. I turned it to the hardest it had and let it pound out my muscles. The steamed filled the whole shower area and I just about broke from how wonderful this felt.

Suddenly, a different scent than the soap and myself came in. Alice, I recognized.

"Leah, Jake needs to see you. Now," she murmured.

I sighed and turned off the water, sticking my hand out the door, searching for my towel. Alice, very kindly, handed it to me and I heard her footsteps as she scurried away. I climbed out, towel wrapped tightly around me. I used my palm to wipe the fog from the mirror and stared at myself. I was plain, there was no denying that, but I wasn't ugly. My hair had grown long again, almost to my mid back, my skin was coppery…shiny, not in Rosalie's way, but in its own way, beautiful. I towel dried myself and started looking around the room for clothes. Across from the shower was a his and her counter and sink. In the middle was a casual outfit, but very designer. It was dark skinny jeans with a white t-shirt and and silver metallic vest with a v-cut neckline with ballet flats. I groaned, not wanting to get this dressed up to see Jacob..._then again_…No, not gonna happen…

"Please just wear it," Alice mumbled pathetically.

Since Bella was gone, so was her little paper doll. I inhaled and exhaled quickly. "Thank you, Alice."

She nodded, smiling softly and walked away.

I felt guilty, but also a little angry with myself for letting myself get weak again. "Great."

I slid on the clothes and looked at myself in the mirror. _Not bad_, I commented in my head._ Good job, Alice. _

I walked downstairs and Rosalie was gone, but Seth was on the couch with his back to me. He was flipping through the channels, his legs on the couch too; his arm thrown over the back of it. I smiled in fondness and walked forward quietly. Before he could turn around, I kissed the top of his head. He wouldn't like that.

"Hey, Leah," he said quietly. His voice was deeper than I remembered it being…was he really that grown up already?

I stroked his hair softly. "I love you, Seth."

"Love you, too, Leah. Jake is looking for you. He would not let me in his head long enough to see what it was about. It's supposed to be pretty important."

I nodded. "I know. Alice told me. Do me a favour?"

"What's that?"

"Find Edward, please?"

"Why?"

"Please just have him down in the kitchen when this is over," I begged, already thinking this out in my head. I would figure out Jacob's opposition to me.

Seth was hesitant but shrugged and nodded. "Alright, sis."

"Thanks, baby."

"Ugh. Leah, seriously. Not that. Anything but that."

"SefMatt," I smirked, deciding on the name I called him as a baby.

He groaned but didn't say anything else.

I left the house quietly, hoping no one would see me and stop me. I exited the door and walked down the front step, glancing around, not sure where to go. No one had told me where Jacob wanted to see me. I sighed and walked toward the cars, assuming he might be there. The garage was a good fourth of a mile or so from the house. It was pretty long, big enough to store about eight cars. I could see it, even as far as it was from the house.

It was warmer out now, the sun directly in the middle of the sky now. I smiled up at the minimal clouds and let the sun bathe over my skin.

"Leah," a deep voice called from behind me.

I almost toppled over from the shock of hearing his voice. I was also a little embarrassed about just standing here and looking like an idiot. "Jake." I turned slowly around to face him, cautious of his reaction to my appearance right now.

He was grinning and I didn't know what to think of that. I just smiled weakly, blushing and walked towards him slowly, looking at my feet. I didn't see him and so I ended up bumping into him. I should have been able to hear him breathing, how close he got. I should have sensed it, but I was distracted. Too nervous for my own good.

He caught me and steadied me, and I felt my blush deepen. Clumsiness…huh, never really had to deal with that before…or being embarrassed, for that matter. I was just the overconfident, stuck up, compassionless bitch my whole life. This was a little different. A little unexpected.

I didn't know whether to still be angry at Jake or not. I didn't want to be…but the normal me would be, and I didn't want to act severely different than the old me.

I pulled myself from his hand and straightened my clothes, giving him a scathing look. He looked a little surprised but put a hand on the small of my back.

"Leah, I really need to talk to you about…" he didn't finish.

I was curious. "What, Jacob?" I said in a harsh tone.

"Last night," he complied.

I glared. "You mean how much of an ass you were? Yeah, thanks. That was just the cherry on the fucking cake for my fucking life. Why do you think I never do that kind of stuff? Because of reactions like yours."

"Leah, I wasn't aware that you were being serious."

"I told you I was serious."

"I know that. I'm just not used to hearing you admit fault like that."

"I'm trying to make this easier on you, Jacob. You have to deal with Edward and me and Seth and the rest of the Cullen's. I'm trying to say that I don't want this…whatever this enmity thing is. I don't like it," I sighed.

He stared.

"Say something, idiot," I sneered.

_Good girl_, the voice in my head commented. I snarled violently at it to silence. It did.

"I forgive you."

"Thanks," I said, hugging him with one arm, very awkwardly.

He pulled me up tight into his arms and squished me to his chest, wet warmth touching my neck where his face was. He was crying. I put a hand on the back of his head and stroked his lengthening hair, my other hand gently rubbing his shirtless back. I sighed. "Jake…I'm so sorry about all of this."

"S'not your fault," he told me, his words mumbled in my neck.

"I know…but that doesn't mean I don't feel guilty for how I was before about her. I yelled at her…just barely a day before she died…Jake I feel guilty for being who I was then. I regret saying those things to her, even if they were right…you didn't deserve to be hurt….but…she knew you were hurting. I'm sorry for what I did."

He kissed my neck in a friendly way and set me back down on the ground. "Leah…she feared you, you know that. You know she never favoured you…but she would have forgiven you for what you said and how you upset her. When she would do that, how can I not?"

I knew that was true. I knew Bella was selfless enough to forgive others mistakes without explaination. I felt bad. I felt so, so bad for ever thinking badly of her. I'm sure she and I could have been good friends if not for the whole 'clique', I suppose you could call it, situation.

I nodded and wiped away a trickling tear. "I have to go."

I started walking towards the river, too emotional to be around Jake right now.

I felt an arm encompass around my waist and pull me back.

"Let go, Jake," I muttered, trying to hide my voice, thick with tears.

He shook his head and pulled me back up into another hug. I felt better there. Warmer, more comfortable. I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him tightly too. Maybe Jacob was starting to like me more now…

I don't know how long we stayed like that, it could have been weeks for all I cared but eventually found my sense and figured that Edward was probably waiting for me. I still needed an absolute answer about Jake. I kissed the top of Jake's head and pushed myself away from him, smiling. Before I left, I put a hand on his cheek and stared deep into his eyes. I turned in left in a rush.

I ran back to the house, absolutely needing to talk to Edward.

I went to the living room first to check the time. Four o'clock already? Seth was not in the living room anymore, I assumed he had gone to the TV room to watch the game with Emmett and Jasper.

"Edward?" I whispered.

"Kitchen, Leah," a velvet voice murmured.

I went to the extravagant, ultra modern kitchen and sat at the bar, looking around for Edward who did not appear at first. I blinked and he was suddenly there.

"Hello," he said quietly.

"How are you?" I asked politely.

"Well, thank you. Yourself?"

"I'm okay, I just have a few questions."

"That I already know."

"Good, that'll make this easier on me and you, then."

He nodded. "Which would you like answered first?"

"Jake."

"He starting to feel more than friendly feelings for you. Considerably slow, for a personal opinion, but loving nonetheless."

I gaped. "Are you serious?"

"Quite."

I nodded. "Next. Where are we going?"

"We?"

"Jake's pack, and you—The Cullens," I answered simply.

"We—The Cullens—are going back to Alaska with Tanya and her family."

"We're going with you…" I stated. There was no other option. Jake wouldn't leave Edward now.

"Don't be so sure."

"You know as well as I that he cares for you, Edward."

"Maybe so, but that does not make it necessary for you to come with us," Edward murmured.

"We want to."

"You speak for yourself only."

"Seth worships you, Jacob is your best friend, I'm…I'm slowly falling in love with Jacob. There is no way you guys are leaving by yourselves."

He considered that and was silent for a long time. I didn't know what else to say. Besides the fact that I would never be able to visit my mom again, I was fine with going to Alaska. Being a werewolf meant I never got cold, so I would never have to worry about that. The Denali Clan had already met Jake, they wouldn't mind some protectors right?

"I'm sure they are not so proud as to not accept some extra _family members_, even if not of the same species."

"Hardly. We both come from human origins, do we not?" I countered.

"Well spoken. You may come. We leave in two weeks. We are packing. You might encourage some family time with your mother and Jacob with his father. You won't be seeing them for a long while, if you choose to stay with us."

I nodded. "Of course. Thank you, Edward."

He smiled weakly then disappeared in a breeze.

I sighed and stood up, walking tiredly out of the kitchen.

"Leah," Jake mumbled brokenly.

I hissed. Oh. FUCK.

I turned slowly and grimaced when I saw his mixed expressions. "Jake, I didn't…"

"You're falling in love with me?"

"I-I…" I couldn't finish. I didn't know how to answer that.

"Leah Julia Clearwater, are you falling in love with me?"

So it was an ultimatum he wanted.


End file.
